It's time to associate more with humans when ...

Does it worry you that most of your friends have claws, whiskers and a tail? If you have a sneaking feeling that you don't interact enough with bipeds, here's a quick test for you. If you score over 50% positive, it's time to head down to the local drinking establishment and meet some humans (your partner, for example, may have been there for some time already).

1. You know every brand of catfood in every supermarket in a five mile radius, but not a single pub, restaurant or nightclub.
2. You have to stop yourself from greeting friends by rubbing cheeks and scratching behind their ears.
3. In any dark room you find yourself high-stepping like a show pony in case there are any felines underfoot.
4. You consider that which brand of cat litter clumps best constitutes a suitable, or even fascinating topic of dinner party conversation.
5. You automatically pat any chair you are about to sit in, in case one of the cushions is about to sink four sets of claws into your backside as you sit.
6. You find yourself slowly blinking at people instead of smiling.
7. you want to tell your partner that the cat has been outside for over an hour, and it occurs to you that, come to think of it you have not seen your partner for a few days either...
8. your idea of a hot date is taking your cat to be mated at a breeders.
9. You associate after dinner leftovers with dismembered mouse parts.
10. Any squeaking sound over 500 mhz has you heading toward the catfood cupboard by pavolvian reflex.