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Fantasy Cat vs Reality Cat

Fantasy Cat - as seen on your TV
Reality Cat - as seen only at mealtimes

FC: Loves you for yourself
RC: Loves you for your tin opener
FC: Is called Morton Throgmorton CloudDancer III
RC: Is called 'The cat' 'oi! stoppit' or 'buggroff'
FC: Wakes you at 7 am with a dainty lick on the nose
RC: Wakes you at 3am with a rasping lick on the nose, and breath that would corrode the armour off a panzer tank.
FC: Lies on your lap and purrs softly
RC: Lies on your lap and farts loudly
FC: Delicately holds out a paw to have her nails trimmed
RC: Lets you trim her claws when you have extracted them from your forearm
FC: A few minutes play remind you of your bond of love and affinity
RC: A few minutes play reminds you to get more and stronger flea powder
FC: Vigorously scratches her scratch post
RC: Vigorously scratches her scratch post, the sofa, anything with stockings, the curtains, the neighbours dahlias, the ...
FC: Adores you
RC: Notices you when she's hungry
FC: Loves her favourite brand of cat food
RC: Loved it last week, this week it was something different, now ... oh, do try to keep up
FC: Plays with a ball of wool
RC: Plays with mouse intestines
FC: Has a glossy coat, thanks to XXX catfood
RC: Has a dandruff-ridden scruffy coat that smells of old socks
FC: Rubs against you affectionately on the sofa
RC: Rubs against you affectionately on the sofa only if you are wearing your best suit/cocktail dress, and she's shedding particularly heavily.
FC: Chases her tail
RC: Chases the neighbours peke
FC: Delicately scratches kitty litter over her doings
RC: Vigorously scratches kitty litterover a 3 metre radius
FC: Is a little bundle who makes life better and happier
RC: Is the same really, which makes you wonder why the advertisers bother
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