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What kind of cat owner are you?

Your cat is on the bed. You:

Snarl 'I told you not to get on there', and possibly hurl a shoe

Gently move the cat to its basket

Curl up next to the cat, you and moggy always have a snooze together

Decide to have a nap on the sofa, since you might wake the cat up otherwise

You have not seen your cat for a few hours. You:

Shrug, and say 'It will turn up sometime.'

Go outside and bang a dinner plate yelling 'here kittykins!'

Wander around the neighborhood calling the cat's name

Call the vet, the fire brigade and press gang the neighbors into a search posse

Your cat's favourite biscuits aren't in the supermarket. You

Get the cheapest brand - as always

Get kitty's second favourite

Drive three miles to the next store

Do above after first berating the manager of the store you are in

Which of these applies

You are constantly picking cat hairs off your clothes

You brush off cat hairs if you are going somewhere important

You buy clothes that colour-coordinate with your cat's hairs

Since kitty has clawed your clothes to rags, why are hairs a big deal?

Which applies?

You think cat-shaped fridge magnets are naff

You have the odd china cat about the house

You have the above and a bumper sticker from the Cat Protection League

You have all above and a cat motif on your underwear

If a loved one said 'It's me or that cat'

You'd brain kitty yourself

You would reluctantly call the RSPCA

You'd insist 'Love me, love my cat.

The 'loved one' IS the cat - a human partner is optional

Which one applies?

You can guess your cat's age to the nearest five years

You have a record of your cat's birth date

You give kitty a birthday treat

Kitty gets a bigger party and present than you get on your birthday

The vet's phone number is

Somewhere about

In your organizer

Right next to the phone

... and on the fridge, in your diary, the desk at work, your mum's ...

If you meet a strange cat on the street you

Ignore it

Try to pet it, and not look stupid when it walks away

Crouch down and talk to the cat in a high-pitched baby voice

Ignore it - your cat does not like you fraternizing with strangers

You know about cats because

You have one or more

From the above and from talking with friends

From the above two and you have a cat-owner's handbook

From all the above (well several books) and the net, and your magazine subscription(s), and from spending two hours a week at the vet, and your work at the animal sanctuary and from your cat newsletter, and from talking to breeders, and from cat shows, and the cat channel on TV (well, there is not one yet, but you are campaigning for it ..)